Every Ending Leads to a New Beginning

"No Matter What Happens, Keep on Beginning and Failing, Each time you fail, start all over again, and you will grow stronger until you find that you have accomplished a purpose-not the one you began with perhaps, but one you will be glad to remember."  Ann Sullivan

Sometimes I wait so long to write something or try anything new.  I am always waiting thinking it needs to be profound, but sometimes I let this over thinking part of myself stop me from moving forward.  And in the same sense, I am sometimes waiting to start new things, because I am afraid of failure.

 I like the above quote, I relate to it in terms of my personality, which never likes failure, tries to hard to avoid it.  Even though most of our greatest growths and character traits often bloom from our biggest heart aches or failures.  It also resonates with the events in my life in the past year, and reminds me of a chance for a "New Beginning" despite the heartache that we endured.

I have been meaning to write since April 29, 2011.  The one year anniversary of  Lily's birth, whom I delivered stillborn after finding out that her heart had stopped beating at my 24 week appointment.  The day brought alot of mixed emotions.  It was really hard leading up to the day, moments of reliving all that had happened that day, delivering her, holding her, and then thinking about many other challenges that came throughout the rest of the year.  But, when the day arrived, there was a sense of peace that came over me at the same time.  We had arrived, we had survived a really hard year, and I had this special day to try and remember her, but also realize that even though I miss her so dearly, I am stronger and in many ways a better person as I reflect back on the past year of my life.  I have arrived at this place after many "failures" in some ways, but I do have a deeper sense of purpose in my life and a faith that has grown stronger.  I have several "Lily" resolutions and with her spirit, all that we journeyed through, and the pain I endured, I have moments where I see the benefits of these "Lily" resolutions and I hope to keep them close to my heart and continue to live them out for the rest of my life as best as I can. 

The picture I posted is a Lily plant I gave my mother for Mother's day last year just a week or two after we lost Lily.  It was just a single plant when she got it.  She emailed this picture to me around Mother's Day this year, and it was so amazing to see how with a little tender loving care from my mom and her knack for flowers, it has grown and blossomed so beautiful, more than I would have ever imagined it when she first received it last year.  I love the beauty of Lily flowers, and I will always treasure them as memories of our sweet daughter.

 May the beauty and growth of the multitude of flowers in just one year, remind us all that Every Ending Truly does lead to a "New Beginning"  if we can have the strength, patience, and faith to endure the hard times and failures along the way.