So, I needed a goal, something to keep me busy, and something to help me get back in shape! So, just like any other normal human being would do, I simply signed up for a marathon :) If you don't know my history, see post from 2 years ago, "Morning Marathon Confessions." Anyway, I have a history, maybe even slight "addiction" for signing up for crazy events. In some ways, I knew it would be a good thing to help keep me occupied for the summer and fall. I also decided in the back of my mind, it could in a sense, be something I could do in honor of Lily, before consuming myself and focus with thoughts of having other children. I remember sending an email to my old triathlon coach and one of my best training buddies back in May, announcing that my "next phase" of "therapy" was now beginning, "My Running." The doctor had cleared me to run two weeks after I delivered, so I quickly signed up for a Marathon, and rushed out to buy a new pair of running shoes!
So, the training began for the Portland Marathon to take place 10/10/10....The training started out pretty well in June and July. I had some good therapeutic chats and long runs with my friend Andrea, getting up to 18 miles pretty quickly by July. When August rolled around, I was still on track, hitting a 20 miler around the second week of August.
Then, the rest of August, I struggled a bit with my training. I was honestly sick of the scorching heat and humidity in Dallas, and honestly a little depressed as our due date hit in mid-August. The combination of the two, found me sleeping in a bit more, and cutting my runs a little short. Before I knew it, September was rolling around, and I was not sure what I was going to do about this race. I felt torn, part of me really wanted to complete the race, but part of me just wanted to forget about it. I had this other struggle with trying not to get too obsessed with this race, and trying to have a little fun (since I had spent two years of my life racing and obsessing about my racing performances for the Ironman, etc.). Well, that little fun this summer, became more and more fun, as I would drop everything and take off to the lake with various friends, skipping my long runs a few weekends, but having a grand time at the lake :) And, overall, I really enjoyed trying not to make the marathon my main focus. But, it was a struggle keeping it balanced devoting enough energy to the training, but keeping priorities and focus on other more important things as well at the time.
Well, long story short, I got back to my more consistent training mid-September as the weather was cooler, and as I started my "New Season" personally. I gave myself an ultimatum, that I needed to get another 20 miler in ASAP, or this marathon was going to be pretty miserable, due to my lack of recent long runs. So, on a rainy Saturday just 2 weeks ago, with my faithful friend Andrea, I headed out in the pouring rain and started our morning journey to get this long run done! It turned out to be one of the first really cool days in Dallas, and the rain never really got too bad, just a steady constant rain. It actually was so refreshing just running along with one of my best friends, sharing various stories of our life journeys, and splashing through the puddles along the way! Completing this 20 miler, I knew I would have to complete this marathon after all, and felt a relief to have completed at least one more solid long run.
I say all of this just to be honest, that no matter how many races you have done as an athlete, recreational runner, or even completed an Ironman in my case, training can be a challenge for various reasons at different points along the way. Life is complicated at times, sometimes we get a bit off track, and sometimes we just want to stop and give up when things get tough. But, with a little faith, some good friends, and good old fashioned determination, we can overcome hardships, and meet our goals, despite difficult obstacles along the way.
I have been thinking a great deal about the last few weeks, and how I truly feel my spirits lifting overall, even in the midst of some really tough days. I keep feeling so thankful for some of the wonderful people I have in my life, that have so helped me through this journey of losing Lily. I am also daily amazed at the wonderful encouragement that can come from unexpected people, situations, and even strangers. I have to admit, even some of the comments I have received from long lost friends, various people who know me here in Dallas, and others who know my story or have read this blog, have meant so much to me. These kind and comforting words have been so precious to me, and have come in such surprisingly and wonderful ways at times.
I still get sad at times, I still think of Lily often. But, as I continue along the path and try to hold on to my faith and hope in God. I know that I will be able to keep running with my head up in this journey. I feel my burdens a little lighter these days. I am loving the crisp coolness in the Fall air right now, it is so refreshing to for my running and for my soul! As the weather cools, I also more so enjoy the refreshing smell and taste of my morning coffee, to get me going each day. I have felt such joy some mornings lately, knowing that I truly feel lighter and happier in my soul, feeling a slight sense of peace that has been missing for quite some time now, slowly returning in my everyday life.
So, I thank God for helping me keep my faith, for some truly amazing friends old and new, for some good doses of coffee and motivation, to keep me energized and feeling refreshed! So, we will head to Portland on Thursday, and I am excited to know that I will be running the Marathon on Sunday 10/10/10.
The picture above is of Multnomah falls, one of the "must-see" sights of pure beauty near Portland. I am hoping to take a short hike there maybe Monday after the race :) I can't wait to enjoy some other wonders of nature and some good fun and adventure with Ted. I think it will be so great for us to get away and just enjoy a relaxing vacation. And, in case you feel sorry for Ted traveling all the way to Portland, for yet another race of mine...Just know, that he has booked us on an Full day Fishing charter from Seattle, for the following Wednesday. So, we are all about keeping things "fair" in our marriage for this trip.
So, I look forward to experiencing not "just another marathon" on Sunday, but a instead a special day to remember. Hopefully, a day to enjoy, as I reflect on events and struggles of this past year. I hope to feel a little bit thankful that I have made it this far since we lost Lily in April. It has been a heck of hilly slow climb at times. But we are still moving forward one step at a time. I am learning more and more, life is about enjoying day to day moments and making the best of each day as we can, accepting that some days will be much tougher than others along the way, but trusting that with the help of God, we can keep running along the path that has been set forth for us, knowing that we are not alone.
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